Boy do I know about freedom in the red white blue 🚓 I received 3 speeding tickets in one month, it was 1992 to be exact. When the officer came back up to my car for me to sign, he said… And I quote… You know Nancy you’re one point away from losing your license and your freedom to drive, don’t you think it’s time you start paying attention to the speed limit? I said………Yes sir and went bought a radar detector…. I haven’t had a speeding ticket since. 😇
-I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom, until they are flashing behind you at the back of cars.
-The last thing I want to do is hurt you in a most horrible way, but it is still on my bucket list. I will surely have my way.
-My mind isn’t twisted and perverted, its strategically bent and curved in a precarious way in several places.
-Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak and cause fools of themselves.
-Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit- salad and spoiling its awesome taste.
-To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
-I’m great at multi-tasking, I can waste time, be unproductive and procrastinate all at once.
-Women will never be equal to men…
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Within a few months of rescuing her as a puppy, Pandora’s owner Lucas Alves Magalhães learned she has a penchant for digging around in their backyard, in Sao Paulo, Brazil. On one occasion, he’d even discovered his BBQ partially buried there, and the dog looking proud to have helped with its safekeeping.
Still, nothing could have prepared him for what resulted from Pandora’s most recent excavation.
Last week, Pandora was outside, doing her thing, when Magalhães noticed she had dug up some mysterious object, and was traipsing about with it in her mouth.
“I couldn’t see what it was, so I called her in,” Magalhães told The Dodo. “When I lifted her head, I almost died from laughing.”
“An elderly couple owned this house before me, and I think maybe it was theirs,” he said. “They may have changed their dentures and buried this one in the backyard. There’s no other explanation, because I know it’s not ours.”
And with that, Pandora was back to her old self again — at least until her next discovery.
Lucas Alves Magalhães
During an interview, bullfighter Sebastian Castella declared, ‘Like all animals, bulls do not have duties, therefore they do not have rights.’
A true sign of friendship is when your friend is totally okay with sharing their food with you! That’s exactly what this sweet cat does when his bird friend comes over to take a few bites of food.
Source: Sweet Cat Shares Food With Bird
Husky Puppy’s Attempts to Speak Will Leave You Laughing Hysterically (VIDEO)
The only thing cuter than a sweet, fluffy little puppy is a sweet talking fluffy little puppy! Meet Ramsey the adorable talking Husky.
This handsome fella has been delighting his humans as he struggles to tell them how much he loves them, in plain English, of course. “What was that?” His human mom asks him, laughing with delight. Ramsey yells loudly as if to answer her with an eager reply.
This heartwarming video is only one example of how human-like animals can be. Dogs make especially good pets because of their adaptability and the overwhelming desire to be with their humans. With a little time and care, most dogs can easily adapt to a variety of household situations. Rest assured, no matter what communication issues arise, dogs are always trying to bridge the gap between species with love and affection. Something tells me that Ramsey is well on his way to becoming a canine ambassador!
Celebrities will do anything to be the center of attention! Need a good laugh read this.😅
A rancher who always carried his Bible in his saddlebag noticed one day that it was missing. He searched everywhere for it, without success. That Bible had been in his family for generations, and he hated to lose it, but it seemed unlikely that he would ever see it again.
Several days later, one of his cows walked up to him holding his Bible in her mouth. The rancher was flabbergasted. He took the book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward, and said, “It’s a miracle!”
“Not really,” said the cow. “Your name was written inside the cover.”
The flood of Trump-fearing American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week. The Republican presidential campaign is prompting an exodus among left-leaning Americans who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, pay taxes, and live according to the Constitution.
Canadian border residents say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, liberal arts majors, global-warming activists, and “green” energy proponents crossing their fields at night.
“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. “He was cold, exhausted and hungry, and begged me for a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my…
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It’s time to pick the most outrageous eco-villain of 2016. The Center for Biological Diversity established the Rubber Dodo award in 2007 as a way to spotlight those who do their very best — that is, their worst — to destroy wild places and drive species to extinction.
LITTLE ROCK, Ar.– An Arkansas man’s Facebook post has gone viral, being shared over 300,000 times. His story, one of the smelly variety, is one that many have enjoyed and been able to relate to. In fact, he even created a graph to help create a visual for you to connect to the story.
Here is Jesse Newton’s post, with the full text being found below:
Newton’s full post:
So, last week, something pretty tragic happened in our household. It’s taken me until now to wrap my head around it and find the words to describe the horror. It started off simple enough – something that’s probably happened to most of you.
Sometime between midnight and 1:30am, our puppy Evie pooped on our rug in the living room. This is the only time she’s done this, so it’s probably just because we forgot to let her out before we went to bed that night. Now, if you have a detective’s mind, you may be wondering how we know the poop occurred between midnight and 1:30am. We were asleep, so how do I know that time frame?
Why, friends, that’s because our Roomba runs at 1:30am every night, while we sleep. And it found the poop. And so begins the Pooptastrophe. The poohpocalypse. The pooppening.
If you have a Roomba, please rid yourself of all distractions and absorb everything I’m about to tell you.
Do not, under any circumstances, let your Roomba run over dog poop. If the unthinkable does happen, and your Roomba runs over dog poop, stop it immediately and do not let it continue the cleaning cycle. Because if that happens, it will spread the dog poop over every conceivable surface within its reach, resulting in a home that closely resembles a Jackson Pollock poop painting.
It will be on your floorboards. It will be on your furniture legs. It will be on your carpets. It will be on your rugs. It will be on your kids’ toy boxes. If it’s near the floor, it will have poop on it. Those awesome wheels, which have a checkered surface for better traction, left 25-foot poop trails all over the house. Our lovable Roomba, who gets a careful cleaning every night, looked like it had been mudding. Yes, mudding – like what you do with a Jeep on a pipeline road. But in poop.
Then, when your four-year-old gets up at 3am to crawl into your bed, you’ll wonder why he smells like dog poop. And you’ll walk into the living room. And you’ll wonder why the floor feels slightly gritty. And you’ll see a brown-encrusted, vaguely Roomba-shaped thing sitting in the middle of the floor with a glowing green light, like everything’s okay. Like it’s proud of itself. You were still half-asleep until this point, but now you wake up pretty damn quickly.
And then the horror. Oh the horror.
So, first you clean the child. You scrub the poop off his feet and put him back in bed. But you don’t bother cleaning your own feet, because you know what’s coming. It’s inevitable, and it’s coming at you like a freight train. Some folks would shrug their shoulders and get back in bed to deal with it in the morning. But you’re not one of those people – you can’t go to sleep with that war zone of poop in the living room.
So you clean the Roomba. You toss it in the bathtub to let it soak. You pull it apart, piece-by-piece, wondering at what point you became an adult and assumed responsibility for 3:30am-Roomba-disassembly-poop-cleanups. By this point, the poop isn’t just on your hands – it’s smeared up to your elbows. You already heard the Roomba make that “whirlllllllllllllllll-boop-hisssssssss” noise that sounds like electronics dying, and you realize you forgot to pull the battery before getting it wet. More on that later.
Oh, and you’re not just using profanity – you’re inventing new types of profanity. You’re saying things that would make Satan shudder in revulsion. You hope your kid stayed in bed, because if he hears you talking like this, there’s no way he’s not ending up in prison.
Then you get out the carpet shampooer. When you push it up to the rug – the rug that started it all – the shampooer just laughs at you. Because that rug is going in the trash, folks. But you shampoo it anyway, because your wife loved that damn rug, and you know she’ll ask if you tried to clean it first.
Then you get out the paper towel rolls, idly wondering if you should invest in paper towel stock, and you blow through three or four rolls wiping up poop. Then you get the spray bottle with bleach water and hose down the floor boards to let them soak, because the poop has already dried. Then out comes the steam mop, and you take care of those 25-ft poop trails.
And then, because it’s 6am, you go to bed. Let’s finish this tomorrow, right?
The next day, you finish taking the Roomba apart, scraping out all the tiny flecks of poop, and after watching a few Youtube instructional videos, you remove the motherboard to wash it with a toothbrush. Then you bake it in the oven to dry. You put it all back together, and of course it doesn’t work. Because you heard the “whirlllllllllllllll-boop-hissssssss” noise when it died its poopy death in the bathtub. But you hoped that maybe the Roomba gods would have mercy on you.
But there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. After spending a week researching how to fix this damn $400 Roomba without spending $400 again – including refurb units, new motherboards, and new batteries – you finally decide to call the place where you bought it. That place called Hammacher Schlemmer. They have a funny name, but they have an awesome warranty. They claim it’s for life, and it’s for any reason.
So I called them and told the truth. My Roomba found dog poop and almost precipitated World War III.
And you know what they did? They offered to replace it. Yes, folks. They are replacing the Roomba that ran over dog poop and then died a poopy, watery death in the bathtub – by no fault of their own, of course.
So, mad props to Hammacher Schlemmer. If you’re buying anything expensive, and they sell it, I recommend buying it from them. And remember – don’t let your Roomba run over dog poop.
Kyla Grover, of Victoria, British Columbia, said she was out with a walking group called Pit Bulls of Victoria B.C. Monday night when the cat, named Baby, charged them.
“The cat is swiping at them and latched onto one of the dog’s faces,” Grover told the Victoria Times Colonist. “I got bit and scratched in the process of trying to separate them.”
Rodriguez took her pit bull Bandida to the veterinarian after a cat attack her dog and six others. (Javiera Rodriguez)
“I spent the whole night at emergency because cat bites are nasty.”
The Times Colonist reported that the cat’s owner agreed to foot a $222 veterinarian bill for one of the dogs, Bandida, which ended up with a scratched face.
The cat’s owner, 78-year-old Betty Jean Thompson, said that the cat was startled when one of the dogs showed a friendly interest.
“She’s kind of a slow sort of thinking cat, but one thing is she is very protective of me,” Thompson said.
ORLANDO, Fla. — In a hilarious and unfortunate video, a SeaWorld Orlando parkgoer captured the video of a dolphin reaching out of its tank and snatching a visitor’s iPad.
Editor’s note: Video is loud. Mature language can be heard at the very end of this clip. Viewer discretion advised.
WTVT reports that season ticket holder Kuadiel Gomez caught the incident on video and still cannot believe it happened.
“That dolphin just lunged and reached the lady, which was unbelievable,” said Gomez
Well, this should teach guests to keep their valuables away from the touch tank.
“As you can see, the dolphins can reach your loose items,” a Sea World worker can be heard saying.
From The Time You Get Up…..
. Make Sure You Have Fun…
Play Ball With Your Best Friend…
Get Some Fresh Air…
Enjoy a Good Meal With Family and Friends…
. At The End of the Day…
Enjoy Relaxing in Your New lounger…
with your family and friends 🇺🇸
Racking up over a million YouTube views in just three days, this viral video shows a lion apparently getting his revenge on a trophy hunter in South Africa.
I got your lounger all comfy for you
I’m planting a rose bush for you mom and Norton is in charge of cleanup