Smorgasbord Laughter Academy Archives – One Liners Part Five and some snippets.

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Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

I am sharing this post from July 2016… I know that some of you commented at the time but hope time has dulled your memory as much as mine!  I have also included some funnies from Facebook that I have pinched over the last few weeks.

Time for part five of the one-liners..I am hoping that I am not repeating any but the odd one might slip through and be noted by the more eagle-eyed of you..  enjoy.

1. It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.
2. He who hesitates is boss.
3. As they say at the Planned Parenthood Clinic, better late than never
4. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
5. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
6…

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Former Navy Seal Reveals Unusual Plan To Stop North Korea…Without Firing Single Bullet

Nwo Report

Sources: Business InsiderThe Conservative Tribune

The state of insanity coming from North Korea has reached such a fever pitch that even someone who watches the news as much as Beavis and Butthead would know the full story by now. A crazed fat man with a love for wine and Swiss cheese is test-firing nuclear weapons over Japan as his brainwashed people who really know no better are cheering him on.

That last part is vital.

Those people who don’t know any better, for they are the key to victory without a single bomb being dropped. That is the plan of former Navy Seal, commentator, and Tribunist Jocko Willink as he unloads the most brilliant and unusual plan that anyone will ever hear. he believes it will stop North Korea’s reign of terror without the need to fire a single bullet.

Since most of North Korea is starving to…

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The Animals of Natural Disasters – FI weREPAW, Inc.

animals-in-natural-disasters

The Animals of Natural Disasters
firepawincSeptember 16, 2017Uncategorized

Natural disasters like the recent hurricanes can take a terrible toll on animals–and their humans…’In 1999, Hurricane Floyd caused 2.9 million pet and livestock deaths, and thousands more owners lost their pets. The aftermath of Hurricane Katrina was particularly devastating. The Louisiana SPCA estimates that 15,500 animals required rescue, and that 80-85 percent of these animals were never reunited with their owners.’ The big question: What measures are in place to help prevent death, injury and separation of animals in natural disasters? And, what can we do to improve the odds?

What happens to Rex and Kitty after a natural disaster?

The ASPCA conducted the first ever nationwide assessment of emergency response capabilities for animals, the results of which were reported in Journal of Homeland Security and Emergency Management in an article entitled, “The National Capabilities for Animal Response in Emergencies (NCARE) Study: An Assessment of US States and Counties.” This survey of officials who oversee emergency preparedness in US States and counties — led by Vic Spain, DVM, PhD, veterinary epidemiologist for the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) — investigated which American communities are prepared to deal with the animal victims of an emergency and how and where emergency response planning can be improved.

The results of the study were mixed — much progress has been made, but there is still much to be done. Most states and about half of high-population cities and counties had organizational infrastructure for managing animals in a disaster, such as a State or County Animal Response Team. In contrast, only about one in four smaller population counties had such an organization, even in regions of the country prone to frequent natural disasters. People with pets are more likely than people without pets to refuse to evacuate in an emergency situation, putting their lives, as well as the lives of the people sent to rescue them, in danger. Only a little more than half of US counties, however, reported having plans for emergency shelters in which pets and people could be housed together.

A loss of animal life not only has an economic, but also a psychological impact. Studies show that pet loss after a disaster can be devastating for humans. Fifty-six percent of Americans now have pets. In the future, due to population growth, and the increase of not only the percentage of Americans living in disaster-prone areas, but also the number of natural disasters, the problem is going to get bigger.

Journal Reference: C. Victor Spain, R.C. Green, Lacie Davis, Gregory S. Miller, Susan Britt. The National Capabilities for Animal Response in Emergencies (NCARE) Study: An Assessment of US States and Counties. Journal of Homeland Security and Emergency Management, 2017; 0 (0) DOI: 10.1515/jhsem-2017-0014

 

source ; photo: @darkbluedaddy

animals death injury and separation from humans in natural disasters, animals in natural disasters

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NOAA seeking jet skiers who allegedly harassed Alaska whales (USA)

The ocean update

Profiles of two jet skiers who were riding “over-top” of humpback whales, in Alaska. (Photo from NOAA)

September 13th, 2017 (Sidney Sullivan, KTUU). FOX ISLAND, Alaska – Two jet skiers were photographed riding close to humpback whales in Resurrection Bay earlier this summer.

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In Response To Harvey U.S.A.F. Spraying 6 Million Acres With Chemicals

Nwo Report

In an apparent effort to control mosquito populations following Hurricane Harvey, the Pentagon has announced that they plan to spray 6 million acres across Eastern Texas.

The Pentagon said that it had dispatched C-130H Sprayers from the Air Force Reserve’s 910th Airlift Wing in order to “assist with recovery efforts in the area.”

Work has already started with about 1.85 million acres sprayed so far across three counties, according to Reuters

The particular chemical that is being used to control the insect populations (and douse the local residents) is a known neurotoxin called Naled which has already been banned by the European Union.  Studies have also shown that Naled is linked to an increase in Autism, but not to worry, the Air Force have insisted they won’t be using large enough amounts to cause harm to humans.

Eco Watch reports:

Amid statewide efforts to clean up the aftermath…

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Equifax could have prevented the data breach two months before it happened

Nwo Report

Equifax, the credit reporting agency that announced a major data breach last week, had access to the security patch that would have stopped the hackers two months before the breach happened, according to the software company that created the patch.

The timeline

  • On March 7, the Apache Software Foundation released a patch for the vulnerability that Equifax has confirmed caused the breach. Both the vulnerability and the patch were widely known within the industry.
  • The breach itself began in May, with exposure continuing into July. Equifax discovered the breach on July 29.
  • Equifax announced the breach affecting approximately 143 million consumers on Sept. 7.

What the experts are saying

The Apache Software Foundation: “The Equifax data compromise was due to (Equifax’s) failure to install the security updates provided in a timely manner.”

Pravin Kothari, CEO, CipherCloud: “They should have patched it as soon as possible, not to exceed a…

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